So the significant other and I are playing Red Dead Redemption, right? It’s a game made by the same folks who developed the GTA series. Neither one of us is a fan of Grand Theft Auto, but we’re having fun with Red Dead. It’s like GTA, except it actually works, because the old west feel makes sense in the old west setting.

There are a couple of times when this woman will come up to you, asking for help, and when you get off your horse, she’ll steal it. “Man, you’re green as hell!” she’ll say as she takes off. Well, the significant other doesn’t have much patience for people stealing their horse, and they had the character whistle so the horse would buck the thief and they could take back their transportation.

Except, SO didn’t stop there. They hog-tied the thief and put her on the back of the horse. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked.

“She. Will. Pay,” SO said, getting on the horse and steering it toward the train tracks.

At this point, I’m sure that everyone reading this knows where this is going. I shook my head, but watched the HOUR LONG struggle the SO was engaging in, just to lay this thief on the train tracks in front of the train. Every time, it seemed they would get to the tracks too late to twirl that stereotypical mustache.

Finally, the significant other gets far enough ahead of the train to put the thief on the tracks, with some time to spare. The train eventually came into sight, and when it did, the horse started walking in the direction of the tracks. “No, horse, what are you doing? Horse, stop!” The horse did not stop, and whistling didn’t bring it back like before. As if to say, “I will have no more part in this,” the horse stepped directly in front of the train as it sped forward. The horse… exploded. There’s no other way to describe it. It just exploded into a shower of blood, and the two of us were sitting on the sofa with our heads cocked to the side, wearing utterly confused expressions on our faces. Until we burst out laughing.

We couldn’t stop for several minutes. It’s not something you should laugh at, I know, but we couldn’t help it. It was just so ridiculous. What made it even more so was the achievement that popped up on the screen: “DASTARDLY”

Oh, you have no idea, game. None whatsoever.