Throw A Rock At It!

I just finished playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Again, I know I’m behind the times. I tend to be a bit of an anti-hipster when it comes to popular things. I don’t get into them until LONG after they’ve stopped being edgy and popular, so anyone reading this will see much of this blog consumed by relatively retro stuff that I’m only just discovering.

Regardless, on its merits, I can really see why Amnesia became such a phenomenon in the first place a couple of years ago. Despite its outdated graphics, it has an engaging atmosphere and story, proving that graphics are not everything. I loved the voice acting, the design of the castle (the Choir was absolutely BEAUTIFUL as well as TERRIFYING), and the Lovecraftian elements in it was well-thought-out.

There were a couple of things I dwell on, though. First was the pages of Daniel’s diary lying around. This isn’t necessarily a weakness. I’m just not sure what to think about it. Did Daniel leave them for himself to find? I don’t think that makes a lot of sense, honestly, because Daniel took the amnesia drink in order to wipe his slate clean and make a fresh start. So was it actually Alexander messing with him? I suppose there was a small flashback in the guest room where Daniel wonders what “they” would want with his diary, and Alexander was particularly invested in keeping Daniel busy with remembering his own misdeeds so that he could get the portal working in the meantime. Maybe I just answered my own question, but perhaps someone else could shed some light on this with something they noticed that I might have glossed over.

Strangely, I also was a little disappointed that we never learned who Alexander’s “love” was throughout the game. Again, this is not a failing of the game itself. After all, why should that have been elaborated on? It’s not like Alexander’s “love” was a particularly important part of the game, or the ritual that would get him home. Perhaps his love was even his home itself, as I don’t think I saw any clue that there was someone in particular in the world that he missed. It’s just something I keep thinking about despite myself.

There’s one thing I think IS a failing of the game. The puzzles are entertaining most of the time, but some of their solutions rely too heavily on… rocks. I quickly developed a strategy for solving puzzles while going through the game: if I was stumped, I threw a rock at it. Even when it didn’t make sense, I threw a rock at it. When I was escaping from the prison cell and I couldn’t make that hole in the wall bigger with a hammer and chisel, or even the iron bar from the cell, I threw a rock at it, and it worked! When I was trying to stop the gears that kept the barrier in front of the Inner Rectum – I mean Sanctum – the iron bar didn’t work on those either, but a gigantic rock did. Seriously, I’m not entirely convinced I couldn’t have just thrown a rock at every puzzle I came across and solved it somehow.

Can you throw rocks at the monsters to make them go away too?

Anyway, despite the one thing that frustrates me, the game uses the parts that make you wonder to its advantage, and I love it for that. It’s just so intriguing, and I can’t help but be a tad obsessed with it. If you’re one of the few people who haven’t played it yet, I’d recommend it. Just be sure to play with a friend.

Brainwashing Woody

An analysis on the “brainwashing” defense Woody Allen has put forward concerning the allegations Dylan Farrow has brought against him again. I’m in full agreement that there’s plenty of evidence to suggest he did a fair amount of brainwashing and manipulation himself.

Excremental Virtue: Lili Loofbourow's Big Face of Pretended Learning

Well, Woody Allen’s statement is out. As expected, it aims to depict Mia Farrow as a deceitful, manipulative, hate-mongering witch who brainwashed his children. His case, as he frames it, rests largely on the assertion that she is a liar and he tells the truth. To prove that he is not a liar, he cites the fact that he took a lie detector test (though not the one the Connecticut State Police asked him to take). Mia, he says, refused. The implication is that one is a liar and the other is not.

I’ve avoided writing about this case because it’s so terribly sad, and plenty of good stuff has already been written (I recommend this and this). But I’ve been driven to add yet another piece to the flood by something that seems to me to have been overlooked so far, namely, the surprising fact that Mia…

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Westeros World News!

I’m reading A Clash of Kings, the second book in the Game of Thrones series. I know, I know, I’m late to the party. Such is the consequence of having to be poked and prodded to partake in the series to begin with. The most common word people used to describe it seemed to be “disturbing” and that put me off of it for a while, admittedly. Now that I’ve read some, though, I can safely say that’s not how this comes across to me at all.

It’s hard to describe in regular terms just what I feel about the two books I’ve read so far, in fact. I must admit that I’ve had trouble identifying the plot or end game for such a soap opera, which is something I’ve never struggled with before when it comes to the literature I’ve read. I think it might have something to do with how the way the chapters are arranged and written that makes me think less of a narrative, and more… Well, let me illustrate.

WARNING: Spoilers for A Clash of Kings ahead!

Reporter #1: Hi folks! We’re live at King’s Landing with Tyrion Lannister! What’s happening here Tyrion?

TL: Everyone hates me because I’m a dwarf and I’m ugly! But I’ve been trying to scheme out a way for King’s Landing to stay in the hands of my horrible nephew and sister, and keep other people from taking the throne, because my family may be shitty, but at least they kept me alive with their influence and gold this long!

R#1: That sounds rough! Cersei Lannister, your rebuttal?

CL: I miss my hot brother! He made my vagina feel good!

R#1: … Riiiiiight. Let’s switch to our correspondent in the South! What’s up with Dany?

R#2: Well, she managed to expose all of her followers to a harsh desert environment, killing about one third of them. No one seems to care about all the people they lost, though, or even almost dying themselves. There’s speculation about how it might have something to do with the author having a crush on her. She’s now in a magical labyrinth castle being mindfucked by immortal wizards. Also, Jorah Mormont wants her pussy. What’s happening in Winterfell?

R#3: It’s cold all around. Bran Stark appears to have the power to run around vicariously through his pet direwolf Summer, and this is revealed by a kid who has prophetic dreams. Theon Greyjoy recently took over the castle, because he wanted to prove to his daddy that he could be a prince. When he’s not whining about how he had to be “prisoner” of the Starks for 10 years (this reporter happens to know quite a few prisoners that would have LOVED to trade places with him), he’s thinking about fucking all the ladies. I suggested to him that he might become a male prostitute, since that seems to be the only thing he’s good at, and he stabbed me with his penis. How’s Stannis Baratheon’s force faring?

R#4: Could be a lot better considering he has a sorceress in his ranks that can give birth to deadly shadows and kill his enemies long range. One has to wonder why she hasn’t just killed Joffrey and everyone else standing in Stannis’ way too. Heck, why not kill Stannis and become supreme overlady herself? Why can she not pull this off? Unfortunately, my inquiries into the matter have been met only with threats of pain and death. Finally, let’s go to our correspondent beyond The Wall.

R#5: THERE ARE WHITE WALKERS EVERYWHERE. WE’VE HAD TO BURN ALL THE BODIES OF OUR FALLEN COMRADES. WHY ARE WE PAYING THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF ATTENTION TO ALL THIS OTHER PETTY STUFF WHEN THE DEAD ARE LITERALLY GETTING UP AND TRYING TO KILL US? THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE HERE ARE AMASSING AN ARMY AND MARCHING SOUTH. WHY IS NO ONE PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS? Also, Jon Snow got laid. Back to you, King’s Landing.

R#1: *SNOOOOOOOORE* Wha- What? Uh, yeah… Right. Sounds fascinating. *Yawn* Back to you, Tom.

So, there it is. It’s like I’m watching the news, not reading a comprehensive story driven by a plot. Ah, well. At least it’s easy to get through about a hundred pages a day. Next up is Dracula. Wish me luck.