“You can’t really be a feminist. You don’t hate men, so you wouldn’t have a reason to be.”
“Actually, the reason I’m a feminist is because of my dad.”
“You’re a feminist because you hate your dad?”
She laughed. “No. I love my dad. He was awesome when I was growing up! He made me laugh, disciplined me right, but he also treated me with respect. He always told me I could be whatever I wanted, and supported me through all the childhood dreams of being a doctor, the president, an astronaut, the works. He got me matchbox cars and Tonka trucks, Barbie dolls and tiaras, whatever I wanted, but only if I was good. He got me my first game console and played racing games with me all day! When I got older, he told me that sex was something two or more people did to have fun, but that I had to be careful because it could have consequences. He never acted patronizing about it, even though he was my father. He gave me the information I needed, and trusted me to make the right decision with it. He would always urge me to strive to be better than him, to be the best person I could be, even though I was a girl.
“He’s such a good dad, a good man, a good person, really, that I started to notice when people treated me differently because I was a girl. I really noticed when people acted like I didn’t belong because of my lady parts, or treated me like I was a cute decoration. I noticed when men treated me like I was there for their amusement, or acted like I should be sleeping with them for validation. I noticed when guys made fun of me because I was a girl, and that everyone around me thought it was normal and an okay thing to make fun of. I noticed when I didn’t have very many female characters in things I watched or read that I could look up to.
“I noticed all of these things because my dad treated me just the same as anyone else. He treated me like a person. And I wanted to be treated that way by everyone else too.”
kyorika
Sep 04, 2013 @ 01:10:43
This is an interesting approach to the feminism topic. I like the first person perspective this is written in. In fact, I can relate to a lot of what this speaker describes through her childhood. My father is my best friend.
There are a few issues today feminists confront that I have conflicting feelings about. The most obvious probably being equal pay. Of course I believe women should be paid the same as a man who does the same job, and it’s a shame that we have let that go on for this long. At the same time, I came from a home where both of my parents supported all three of their children on a $11,000 salary, so I felt at that time anyone, man or woman, was lucky to have a job at all with the poor shape the economy was in. So I suppose what I believe is we should tackle unemployment rates first and then worry about the women who already have the means to support themselves, even if it is significantly less than a man’s. Take things one at a time.
What do you think, EA? I never dare say this view of mine to my coworkers over lunch. I don’t think this makes me traitor of my sex (I hope not).
entropistanon
Sep 04, 2013 @ 13:58:19
I thought the person I got this perspective from was definitely coming from the unique perspective of understanding first and foremost how being treated like a human felt, only to realize that not everyone was going to treat her like that. She said that the realization was actually quite heartbreaking at first, but she wanted to work toward others understanding her the way her father did too.
I think the way the economy is right now, we’re actually hiring more women than men BECAUSE of how much lower women can be paid. You actually see a lot more women employed these days just because companies feel like they can pay them less than the men, and they won’t complain. Women don’t usually bargain for their pay, or ask for raises, and feel lucky for what they get, because they generally depend on others to assign them their worth rather than assigning themselves their own worth (this ties into internalized sexism), so women are usually cheaper labor.
However, I think we can nip both these problems in the bud at the same time by promoting higher education to young men and women. Not only does higher education promote more innovation, more internal understanding of the system, and higher salaries all around, but it also promotes higher self-worth. When we feel like we have the tools that others need, we are far more likely to take pride in what we do and demand higher compensation for it.
kyorika
Sep 04, 2013 @ 22:21:07
I like the way you said that. 🙂 I’m in full agreement with you on promoting higher education.